By the end of Day 6, I couldn’t honestly say that I felt changed or altered, or even more relaxed or whatever the hell it was I was supposed to be feeling - I had forgotten why it was I was here in the first place and thus it was difficult to evaluate whether or not my time had been well spent. On the morning of Day 7, if our minds weren’t focused enough then we were introduced to something which hadn’t been advertised that would, if nothing else, certainly help to shut out the outside world - the cell. Measuring 2m x 1m and containing nothing other than a meditation mat and a light switch, this was to be our refuge in times of outside distractions. Now of course it was entirely up to us whether or not we would choose to meditate here and given the fact that the sound of the constant farting, sniffing, sneezing and even snoring was, on occasion, cacophonous, it seemed like a good idea.
From a meditation point of view the focus has by now switched to the different parts of the body and concentrating on any sensations we might be feeling from our heads down to our toes. We focus on each part individually and in the exact same order - so we go from the scalp to the forehead, down the different parts of the face, both arms, upper torso, legs and down to the toes. And then in the reverse order again and again and again……..it’s every bit as monotonous as you might imagine.
At meal times my thoughts fluctuate between “Fuck this, I’m done with all this crap“, and the thought that it’s only 3 more days so I might as well sit it out. It’s the latter which wins out but the former which would have made more sense.
Regardless, the work continues and on Day 9 it’s suggested to us that we might be at the stage where not only can we experience sensations on our entire body, but inside our body. And - wait for it - feel our bodies dissolve into a miasma of sub-atomic particles. And, stop the presses, it doesn’t end there - that we might be able to swim into our spinal cords and notice any impurities that might exist there. Now this to me is the equivalent of strapping a 6 month old child in a nappy into a car and saying “And next to the brake is the clutch. Away you go.” Well I’m that 6 month old. I’m not even remotely suggesting that this feeling isn’t possible after much practice, but 9 fucking days?
But finally - finally - Day 10 arrives. Day 10 is known as Metta Day but the most important thing about Day 10 is that we have permission to talk from 10am, a prospect I have been anticipating as eagerly as Fernando Torres’ next hamstring injury. My first question to Floriaan, with whom I travelled to the centre - is “Are you cracking up too?” He’s not and neither is anyone else which leaves me alone with the growing feeling that I’ve missed the point entirely with the meditation and that I somehow feel more strung out now than I did when I began. There’s still a day left to go in the course but the meditation is over and a day of watching happy-clappy DVDs lies ahead and so I excuse myself from the final formalities. There’s a 3 hour walk back to Jaipur from the Vipassana centre but it is exactly what I need now that I have my music and my mind back.
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